Recently I went through the game again and now that I'm a little bit more familiar with translating I had some recommendations for potential translation changes as well as some questions for ones that I was a bit uncertain about.
Let me know what you think, any assistance regarding these readings would be very helpful. Also, since I wanted to provided as much context as possible for these there's going some unmarked spoilers below so just keep that in mind.
1.06: Currently the translation listed for "宣言" is " Declaration," but I believe "Proclamation" would be the best translation for it as that is the specific wording used in the
cinematic ("King Valdus stood before his people an issued a proclamation.") where this track plays.
1.07: Currently the translation listed for "交錯" is "Interplay." This is the campaign select theme, I believe two alternative translation choices could be "Intertwined" or "Interwoven," though I feel that one of those translations might be more fitting in this context. The definition of "interplay" is "the effect that two or more things have on each other" while the latter words mean to "connect or link two or more things closely" or to "blend closely." I believe the Japanese title is referring to how the character's tales are all connected despite them conflicting with one another as two character's tales can't occur concurrently without contradicting one another. Despite that however all of these potential story paths do still occur as they all end up converging into a single timeline in the final tale.
1.14: From what I understand "崩壊" can be translated as either "collapse" or "decay," but in context I'm not really sure how either would be applicable. The one scene that I'm aware of where this track plays is briefly in the
cutscene before the final boss in Thage's tale. It's possible that it might have played in some of the bad endings as well, but I can't say for certain. Regardless the scene doesn't have anything to do with something decaying, making collapse seem like the more fitting option by default even if nothing is collapsing in that scene either although it could possibly be meant in a metaphorical sense.
1.16 I think "疑いの雨" can also be translated as "Rain of Suspicion," but "Rain of Doubt" still has a better ring to it, imo.
1.19/1.25/1.33: Pathetic is one way to translate "悲愴," but other alternatives include "Sadness" or "Sorrow," I've even seen it translated as "Pathétique" on a few occasions. It's hard to say what the intended meaning is, though all versions of the track do sound rather mournful. I'm a bit partial towards Pathetique/Pathétique myself since "pathetic" sounds far too plain to me, but I think "Sorrow" would still sound fine as well. From what I can recall this track plays in every character's good ending except Duphaston's, after the true final boss and during Leto's death. It's worth mentioning that Leto states "I know it sounds pathetic, but... I'm done for." and that Thage states "King Valdus, a pitiful man, consumed by his own madness." during moments where this track plays. Additionally, Rondemion states during the final battle of his campaign "Pathetic. You're not even a man anymore." However, this track is not featured here like the others as it is during the battle as opposed to a cutscene. In Thage's ending "憐れ" is translated as "pitiful" as shown in this
text comparison. However, the original text for Leto's scene uses "情けない" instead as shown
here. The Japanese text for Rondemion's comment uses "
惨めな" which when translated literally would more akin to "miserable" rather than "pathetic." Thus only the example from Thage's route features any sort of direct correlation.
1.27: I think "嘆きの雪" could also be translated as "Snow of Grief," though I'm not sure if "嘆き" is more commonly translated as one or the other although I feel like "grief" might sound a little more natural in English.
1.29: This is the one that's giving me the most trouble, currently the translation listed for "騎士団長の証" is "Squad Leader's Evidence," but it seems like that translation is omitting the "騎士" part and now I'm trying to deduce whether or not it should actually be something like "Commander of the Knights' Proof/Evidence" or "Proof of the Commander of the Knights." The "Commander of the Knights" is an important role in the context of the story, but I'm not sure if this title is specifically referring to that or not. On the game's Japanese
wikipedia entry Olifen's description does feature "騎士団長." However, it doesn't seem to be spelt that way, during the one time they say "Commander of the Knights" specifically (as shown
here) as all other times they specify "Valdian Knights," at least in the English script, I'm not sure if this was also the case in the original Japanese script or not though. His
character bio from the old Japanese website, and the
guide book seem to use similar, but not quite the same spellings, I'm assuming they say something akin to "Valdian Commander" or "Commander of the Valdian Knights." I'm also not sure if this title is trying to convey that the commander has some sort of proof/evidence regarding something or if something is proof that they are indeed the commander like if you said something like "proof of a hero." This interpretation could make sense since some characters including Olifen himself don't believe he has yet earned the title of commander until late into his campaign. What makes it more confusing is there are some instances where this track is used where it does not involve the commander of the knights nor the former commander, Rondemion. Though this is true for "Theme of Thage/Ashley/Rondemion" as well they are sometimes used during other character's campaigns where they themselves are not featured. Perhaps the linear notes may give some hint as to what the intended meaning is meant to be?
2.05: Currently the translation listed for "対峙する記憶" is "Recalling the Confrontation." However, in this context I think this one should actually be "Confront the Memories." Like the similarly named "Confront the hesitation" this is also a stage theme, however this one specifically plays during the first stratum stages for all characters (barring Duphaston who begins on the lowest stratum paths) and I believe the title is referring to how the upper stratum feed off the memories of those who enter it and recreates the area based on said memories, hence why all the first areas are unique for each campaign.
2.18: Currently the translation listed for "扉から現れる試練" is "The Trial Past the Door," but I think this one should actually be something along the lines of "The Trial Emerging from the Door." For context, this track plays when a boss comes through the door at the end of a stratum to face you as shown
here. Saying "past the door" makes it sound like your going through the door to face the boss beyond it as opposed to the boss coming through the door to face you. Perhaps it could be read as "The Trial Beyond the Door" or "The Trial from Beyond the Door?"
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1.05: Unlike the others this is one that I'm just personally curious to know to something about. This one is already written in English as "Besek the Hell Prison," but in the Japanese version of the game "Besek" is referred to as "獄界ベセク." However, to my knowledge "獄界" is typically translated as either "prison" or "hell" instead of some combination of both. In the English version it is stated that Besek is seen as "a sort of hell," but I don't believe it's ever referred to as a prison and I don't think "Hell Prison" would be proper English anyway. Thus, I was curious if anyone could tell me if Thage was saying "
獄界ベセク" in this cutscene? It sounds like she is, I was wondering about this because in the English version she instead says "
Besek, the unholy realm." I was curious to figure out if they localized "hell prison" to "unholy realm" in this instance or not.
Additionally, I recently discovered that there is a reason for the dashes in track 3.02's title. Apparently, "Equal-to-apostles" is a title bestowed to those whom have done an especially good job of spreading Christianity making them comparable to that of the original apostles. However, most examples I've seen online are instead written as "Equal-to-the-Apostles" or "Equal to the Apostles." Also I noticed that in the English release of the game as well as the English release of the art book, the name of the cauldron used to grind Majin was titled "Camellia" instead of "Camelia."