Eh, here's my two cents...
Quote:
Japanese Track Title: 04 月下の夜想曲
Current English Track Title: 04 Symphony of the Night
|
This should be changed to "Nocturne in the Moonlight". This is also the subtitle of the game name itself.
Quote:
06 ラキュラ城
06 Dracula's Castle
|
Personally, I'd go with "Dracula Castle" unless a の specifically states that the castle is owned by Dracula. "Dracula Castle" implies ownership of the property by Dracula anyway but it also allows for the possibility that it isn't (owned by him).
Regardless of what the place is called in-game, Tower of Evil Mist is a more complete translation than Tower of Mist. 霧 is mist/fog while the 魔 indicates that this particular mist/fog is of an evil/demonic nature. By the way, the place where this music plays is called "Outer Wall" in-game and it has an appearance of a tower.
Quote:
14 終焉の地
14 Land of Benediction
|
I looked up benediction in a dictionary and I got "a blessing" and "an expression of good wishes". I find this strange for two reasons: 1) 終焉 means "demise" and 2) It's the game over (i.e. player death) tune. I can't think of a good track title using demise but a certain release group has opted for a euphemism: "Resting Place".
道 means street/road/way/path and the 焉 kanji seems to have a connection to death/decease/demise (also used in the track 14 title). In the game, the player descends in a cave like environment before eventually reaching the boss of the area: Cerberus (i.e. The watchdog of the gates of Hell). 焉道 (death + path/way): Naturally, the best title for this track would be Path/Way of/to the Departed or even just simply Departed Way.
Quote:
20 失われた彩画
20 Lost Paintings
|
The Japanese language generally doesn't seem to place too much importance on pluralities so I personally wouldn't add pluralities unless it was specified or it was obvious from the context or we were supposed to assume it. However, there's plenty of paintings in the library so whichever (painting/paintings) is fine.
呪い = curse, 聖 = sacred/holy, 域 = region/area. "Zone" is too general and is missing the sacred/holy connotations. The original "Cursed Sanctuary" track title is fine.
Quote:
23 魔性の宴
23 Enchanted Banquet
|
魔 = demon, 性 = nature/property/characteristic, i.e. A banquet of a demonic nature, i.e. "Demonic Banquet" was fine. Enchanted doesn't sound evil enough.
Quote:
26 深淵への扉
26 Doorway to the Abyss
27 天界への扉
27 Heavenly Doorway
|
The original Japanese uses the same grammatical structure so perhaps the English should also be the same. へ indicates both doorways lead to the Abyss and Heaven, respectively.
Quote:
31 終曲トッカータ
31 The Final Toccata
|
Finale should be the correct term since 終 = end/conclusion, 曲 = music and finale seems to be a musical term.
宴 meaning banquet is also used in track 23 (魔性の宴). However, banquet here is preceded by 饗 meaning to treat someone to it (the banquet). Is there any way to include this additional meaning in the translation?