SLPS-20053: Tenshi no Present ~Marl Oukoku Monogatari~ Original Soundtrack

[RFGalaxy]

Okay, so I did translations of my own for this soundtrack so in the process I was able to take a look at this entry. The Japanese tracklist had a lot of errors.

Spoiler:

- Almost every title had spaces at the end.
- Track 8 attempted to emulate a weird large space in the booklet. I removed it, but you can put an extra back space in there if you think it belongs.
- Tracks 18 and 19 were switched.
- Track 20 randomly had 限定版同梱ＣＤの題名表記は in the middle, and then repeated the actual title again.
- Christmas in track 21 was misspelled as Chiristmas.
- Track 23 was missing を after 夢.
- Track 28 randomly had インスト版 appended to the end.
- Track 36 had スターディング instead of スターティング ("starding" instead of "starting", basically)
- Track 37 started with アラビアン・ビースト～恐怖の大魔王 限定版同梱ＣＤの題名表記は. What's really odd is that the アラビアン・ビースト part, Arabian Beast, actually made it into the translation for the English tracklist. Really weird stuff going on with this soundtrack.

Here's some commentary about individual tracks.

Disc 1:

Spoiler:

03 いつか会える　きっと会える
This song corresponds with 01 Someday from Rhapsody, but in Japanese. Personally I translated this as Surely We Can Meet Someday—いつか会える says "someday we can meet" and きっと会える says "surely we can meet". It might be better just to write it as Surely We Can Meet, Someday We Can Meet, but I tried to combine the two. I took the liberty of changing our translation here because it left out the きっと.

06 二人だけの世界
This song corresponds with 04 Our World from Rhapsody, but in Japanese. You could make a case for the translation "Our World", but I've left ours alone (although I don't like the inclusion of the word "Made" as that's really taking some translator's liberty there).

11 歩いていこう　シェリーの愛
This song corresponds with 03 Let's Go On (Cherie) from Rhapsody, but in Japanese. I think "let us" walk is a little formal, but I guess that's just nitpicking

12 ありがとう
This song corresponds with 08 Thank You from Rhapsody, but in Japanese. Arigatou certainly means thank you, so I'm just pointing out the correlation.

Disc 2:

Spoiler:

02 人形姫物語
This is the same track as 11 Puppet Princess Theme from Rhapsody, though a slightly different version. The translation doesn't match up though, so I didn't change it.

04 お嬢様の髪飾り
This is the same track as 19 Lady's Barrette from Rhapsody, though a slightly different version. This track's name I changed because "young girl" isn't really that good of a translation for お嬢様 anyway.

05 エリンギャー谷
This says Eringya but has been transliterated as Eringa in the USA version of La Pucelle. We have it written that way for track 13 of La Pucelle, so I've gone ahead and written it that way here too.

06 閉ざされた空間
I believe 空間 is referring to a room that you find after the cave you meet Etoile in—it's a large tree with a door you can't open—but it could still be interpreted as space I guess. Leaving the track alone, just mentioning it.

12 ミス・マール王国コンテスト
There's no possessive here so it's not Miss Marl's Kingdom contest, and I don't think there's any Miss Marl in the games; this is a contest to decide who is the next Miss Marl Kingdom—think Miss Universe or something along those lines. If you can find some way of writing The Miss Marl Kingdom Contest to make it more obvious that the contest is to decide the next Miss Marl Kingdom, then by all means, do so.

18 異次元冷凍庫
I changed Cubist Freezer to Alternate Dimension Freezer. Both of them are totally bizarre and look like Google translations, but believe it or not, you literally walk into a freezer as Marjoly's gang in chapter 3 called 異次元冷凍庫. It's a huge frozen realm where you can store food. Indeed.

19 恐怖の足音
I changed Footsteps of Kyou Byou to Footsteps of Fear. Could also be Fearful Footsteps, I guess?

25 ヒステリックセレモニー
It's irregular to use the word hysteric is an adjective; hysterical should be used.

26 戦士のさだめ
Oddly enough, this plays during the introductions for the contestants of the Miss Marl Kingdom Contest. The host describes the contestants as 強者（もののふ） before starting the introductions. I don't think soldier really works, so I've gone with the translation A Warrior's Destiny.

27 翼を持った少年
持った is the perfective form of 持つ, which is have/possess, so this says The Boy Who Had Wings.

29 夢の旅人
This is the same track as 24 The Wanderer from Rhapsody, though a slightly different version. The translation doesn't quite match up though.

32 流れ星ひとつぶ
流れ星 is indeed a falling star, but ひとつぶ completely disappears. ひとつぶ can be a grain of rice/barley, a rain/teardrop, or even part of 一粒種, which is "only child", so I think this is referring to a single falling star. This is pretty much the same track as 21 Shooting Star from Rhapsody, which also ignores ひとつぶ. Maybe I'm just crazy.

33 ダンジョンへ、ようこそ
This is the same track as 14 Welcome To The Dungeon from Rhapsody, though a slightly different version. They have the same translation, I just thought I'd mention it.

37 恐怖の大魔王
Well, subtracting the fact that this doesn't have anything to do with an Arabian Beast, 魔 isn't really wizard. I've changed it to The Great Demon King of Terror. That's a little wordy; you might prefer something like The Terrible Overlord.

38 歩いていこう　オルゴールバージョン
This is the same track as 26 Mother's Lullaby from Rhapsody, though a slightly different version. The song names are different, but I thought I would mention it.

Well... that's all, folks. I don't mind if you decide to change any of my translations, I'm just trying to make some improvements to the English tracklist.

[Phonograph]

disc 2 18 and 19 jap are misplaced in your comments btw

[RFGalaxy]

Heh, didn't switch them when I realized they were switched in the old tracklist. I started doing that track-by-track breakdown before realizing that. Thanks, I fixed it.